The Grossest Pizza Toppings Ever

pizza

We’re all in search of some culinary comfort, and pizza is without a doubt, major comfort food. For many of us, after a crazy day of work and never-ending to-do lists, the thought of thinking up something to eat at end the day is just too much.

What a relief there’s pizza – everybody’s favorite fast food choice. If you’ve ever had to order pizza for a group of a dozen friends or so, you’ll know of some of the gross toppings that people ask for. Let’s take a look at what’s happening to the humble pizza as we’ve always known and loved it. Check out some of the grossest pizza toppings ever, and let us know if you’ve been brave enough to try any of them.

Broccoli

https://www.instagram.com/p/BuqYzSanK-X/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading

Agreed – broccoli is a super food, but pizzas are supposed to be fun meals, so how can anyone think of a broccoli pizza. Pizza and dieting just don’t work together, and anyone who chooses broccoli because it has fewer calories, needs their head read.

Cooked Eggs

https://www.instagram.com/p/Boc-MjsB0Oi/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading

No no and no. A cooked egg is completely pointless in a pizza. It does not look good, it does not taste good, and when it is put in an oven, it turns greenish and repulsive. This combination actually deserves the same fate as a painting by the Catalan painter – “let it dry and hang it on the wall”.

Corned Beef and Cabbage

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bd2-8tPhurz/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading

 Nothing is simple anymore. To stretch the pizza ingredients list to outdo the competition. Ingredients have become pathetic. Who wants corned beef and cabbage? Very few people want these ingredients in prison, and on a pizza when you’re carefree and have choices, it is a complete no-no.

Pepper

https://www.instagram.com/p/BupDdsuFgUW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading

 Another vegetable type on pizza and totally gross. Yes, chopped up peppers are fine when included with other ingredients, it can still pass. But don’t have a pepper pizza on the menu.  Whether its green-, red- or jalapeno pepper, they are a total no-no for a pizza topping.

Olives

View this post on Instagram

🍕Pizza Toppings🍕 . Everyone can agree to order a pie…can anyone agree on toppings though? . 5. Mushroom…Everyone now throws truffle on mushroom pizza…no complaints…try the tartufo @numero28pizzeria … 📸: Numero 28 . 4. Olives…hated them as a kid…love them as an adult…📸: @k.kinch . 3. Sausage…pepperonis little brother…📸: @_sammyspizza . 2. Pineapple🍍…fruit on a pizza…count me in…📸: @erikajones86 . 1. Pepperoni🍕…the classic…best pepperoni slice is @joespizzanyc … 📸: @dailyfoodfeed . What’s your favorite topping? Favorite topping combo? . . . . #pizza #cheesepizza #pizzatopping #pizzapizza #pizzas #za #pizza🍕 #🍕 #pizzapie #olive #olives #olivepizza #pepperoni #pepperonislice #pepperonipizza #mushroom #mushrooms #mushroompizza #truffle #sausage #sausagepizza #pineapple #pineapplepizza #topf5ve

A post shared by @ topf5ve on

 Love em or hate em, olives are pretty controversial as a pizza topping, whether green or black. People make olives sound quite delicious, but on a pizza, they’re almost slimy/salty and should be totally ditched.

Pineapple

Pineapple is by no means gross on its own, but it becomes nasty when the sweet tropical juice clashes with salty meat ingredients and cheese. Also, it makes the pizza half soggy too.

Blackberry & Fennel

 Exotic it may sound and look, but this pizza can scarcely be enjoyed with the sweetness of the blackberry mixed with fennel. Fennel tastes a bit like onion and celery mixed, but its also sweetish. This can’t possibly be counted in as quality food.

Cashews and Cream Cheese

View this post on Instagram

Vegan Phillysteak Pizza 🍕

A post shared by Cruzer Vegan Pizza 100% Vegan. (@cruzerveganpizza) on

The last time most people has cashews and cream was in their trifle or cake. Now to find these two ingredients on a pizza is just too much to endure. In fact, any kinds of nuts found on pizza means that the pizzeria staff are completely nutty themselves.

English Breakfast Pizza

 Who doesn’t love an English breakfast – egg and bacon, fried onions, sausages, baked beans, tomatoes and toast with tea or coffee. Many of us are used to starting the day with a breakfast like this and don’t want interference from a pizza.  Piling all this onto a pizza is just the ultimate pits!.

Cauliflower Crust Pizza

 For many, just when they thought they had finally mastered cauliflower’s taste by adding cheese to it, it finds its way onto a pizza. Not even pizza is going to disguise what cauliflower is to so many people – disgusting.

Shrimp

https://www.instagram.com/p/Be_JFJHg4RJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading

 Seafood may not be too bad on a pizza, but in true gross style, it now comes to you served up on a pizza, head and legs included. There mere sight of it makes one want to gag.

Salad Pizza

The salad is a salad and pizza is pizza. From these two incontestable universal truths, one could deduce that turning one thing into the other is not the best idea.  Believe it or not, fresh, crisp lettuce, the staple of every delectable summer salad is now finding its way onto pizzas, complete with other cold salad ingredients. The crisp lettuce hates the heat and arrives on your pizza wilted, brown and tasting like something totally different.

Cicadas

 It’s bad enough when they use a whole lot of unfamiliar foodstuffs on pizzas, but at least its food. Now they’re going one step too far in their efforts to shock and dismay. The cicada bug is now the point of their interest and these large bugs, a culinary delight of birds, is now being found on pizzas. Fancy a hot, crunchy cicadas pizza?

Pizzas are sacred food and not to be tampered with. The nitwits who’ve introduced these gross toppings will only see one thing happening – their sales plummeting.